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Friday, 10 July 2009

  • Here's my plan for tomorrow:

    B: Protein shake-130
    L: Chicken breast, 2 c spinach, 2 T Newman's Own Lighten Up balsamic vinegarette-175
    S: 1 c canned pumpkin, 1 packet splenda-80
    D: Pork tenderloin, 1 c carrots, yogurt, 1 glass white wine-330
    S: 1 c kashi cereal, 1/2 c soy milk-180

    TOTAL=895

    We'll see how tomorrow goes...I'm only scheduled to work 8am-10am, then I'm probably just going to come home and crash. I'm going out tomorrow night with my friend Travis, so it should be a good time.

Tuesday, 07 July 2009

  • Woke up around 6am to massive rain and thundering and lightening. It's still raining now. I fell right back asleep and woke up again around 9:15 or so. Made some coffee. I'm going to make today an awesome day. I just know it.

    I'm probably going to lunch with my friend, which I don't feel too bad about. We tend to always get sushi, so I will probably get one roll with a small salad and water.

    B: Coffee, 1 slice ezekiel bread, 1 tsp reduced-fat peanut butter (180)
    L: /
    S: /
    D: /
    Total: /

    Exercise: 2 hours spinning class (-1300)

Monday, 06 July 2009

  • And how long I could sleep.

    Drove from Dallas to Houston today, but luckily do not have to go into work today. Will go in at noon tomorrow. Finally got some herb this weekend. That took long enough. I've got a good amount. I love smoking, and I never get the munchies, so it's actually great for me and dieting.

    I am going to weigh in tomorrow (after this god-forsaken weekend) and start recording intake and outtake. Good news: I am teaching 2 spin/cycle classes tomorrow, which means I will torch around 1200 calories, easily. Hopefully my weight won't be as dreadful as I am expecting.

Wednesday, 24 June 2009

  • Conflicted

    I've been struggling a lot the past 3 months or so. Let me get everyone up to speed: I took a job at a large gym as a coordinator for fitness programs. In addition to being a personal trainer, I teach group fitness classes. It's great, because I get a free gym membership and get paid to do something I'm actually pretty good at. However, it's become even more of a way for me to obsess over food and my body. I literally get paid to work out and be thin. However, the pressure comes from the gym for women to not only be thin and in good shape (duh) but to have a decent amount of muscle. Now me, being the effed up person that I am-I don't want muscle. I want to be fucking thin. I don't care if I'm 45% body fat. I want to be skinny.

    It's quite interesting, because I am positive that every single trainer I work with has an ED of some sort. Even the men who are bulking and trying to pack on muscle and eat every hour...they obsess about food, how much, what kind. It's insane. I guess the reason I am so conflicted is because I assumed taking this position would help me with my body image. And what I'm learning is that there is NOTHING that can help me other than myself. And I'm OK with that. Do I want help? Hell no. I'm not ready.

    Sorry for the rant...will update later.

Thursday, 28 May 2009

  • Well Good Morning

    Sorry it's been awhile. Thursdays I don't go in to work until about 2pm, which is great, I can sleep in...except that they are doing landscaping right outside of my apartment building. So I woke up at like 9am. Boo.

    But in better news, I'm finally getting paid halfway decently, and I was able to buy a new computer! I now am the proud owner of a MacBook. And, my brother graduates not this weekend but the following, so I'm going to go buy a cute new dress and maybe some earrings. Ugh I love shopping. Now if only I were thin enough and rich enough to buy everything I want :)

    B: Coffee-75
    L: Burger wrap, broccoli soup-280
    S: Fiber one bar, trail mix-300
    S: Protein shake-200
    D: /
    S: /
    Exercise: 1 hour cycle class (-800)




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